Friday, August 29, 2008

lottery

Why does everyone get excited when the lottery jackpot is really high? It seems like so many people MUST buy a ticket if the jackpot is over $100 million.

But if it's only at $20 million? Meh. Why bother?

Friday, August 8, 2008

sick computer

Recently, the work computer I lovingly call Alreadycent-dx started showing symptoms of illness: removing my desktop wallpaper, producing numerous malware pop-ups, excess phlegm. I'm no techie, but I do know that computers shouldn't be producing malware pop-ups. Or phlegm. I had to face the truth -- Alreadycent-dx had a virus.

I called the computer doctor and explained the problem. He was concerned, so he prescribed some medicine that I could download and administer myself. At first the medicine worked, but soonafter, the symptoms returned.

I spoke to the computer doctor again. He told me I should give Alreadycent-dx a full examination. I did so and discovered she had many infections. I carefully cleaned and removed them, applying pressure and gauze as needed. Then I let Alreadycent-dx rest for a little while. But after I gently woke her up, I could tell she was still sick. Clearly this was no ordinary virus.

I called the computer doctor again. This time he made a housecall, thankfully. But instead of examining Alreadycent-dx at my desk, he removed a few of her synapses, put her on a gurney and rolled her away. He promised she'd be back soon, good as new. But I was worried.

A little while later, the computer doctor returned. He told me the sad truth that I had half-expected. Alreadycent-dx was so sick that he actually had to remove her brain and replace it with a new one. I was horrified. What if her memory was wiped out? What if she didn't remember me anymore?

The computer doctor reconnected Alreadycent-dx's synapses and left her with me. It's been a little while now and she seems to be doing much better. She runs faster, seems clear of malware, and hasn't had any phlegm at all.

But something just isn't right. I mean sure, she runs faster now, but she just feels...different. Fonts are a little off, files aren't where they're supposed to be, and Alreadycent-dx no longer gives me a hug when I walk up to my desk.

But I have to look at the bright side -- at least Alreadycent-dx is still here. Even if she doesn't remember who I am anymore.