Layoffs

lottery

Why does everyone get excited when the lottery jackpot is really high? It seems like so many people MUST buy a ticket if the jackpot is over $100 million.

But if it's only at $20 million? Meh. Why bother?

sick computer

Recently, the work computer I lovingly call Alreadycent-dx started showing symptoms of illness: removing my desktop wallpaper, producing numerous malware pop-ups, excess phlegm. I'm no techie, but I do know that computers shouldn't be producing malware pop-ups. Or phlegm. I had to face the truth -- Alreadycent-dx had a virus.

I called the computer doctor and explained the problem. He was concerned, so he prescribed some medicine that I could download and administer myself. At first the medicine worked, but soonafter, the symptoms returned.

I spoke to the computer doctor again. He told me I should give Alreadycent-dx a full examination. I did so and discovered she had many infections. I carefully cleaned and removed them, applying pressure and gauze as needed. Then I let Alreadycent-dx rest for a little while. But after I gently woke her up, I could tell she was still sick. Clearly this was no ordinary virus.

I called the computer doctor again. This time he made a housecall, thankfully. But instead of examining Alreadycent-dx at my desk, he removed a few of her synapses, put her on a gurney and rolled her away. He promised she'd be back soon, good as new. But I was worried.

A little while later, the computer doctor returned. He told me the sad truth that I had half-expected. Alreadycent-dx was so sick that he actually had to remove her brain and replace it with a new one. I was horrified. What if her memory was wiped out? What if she didn't remember me anymore?

The computer doctor reconnected Alreadycent-dx's synapses and left her with me. It's been a little while now and she seems to be doing much better. She runs faster, seems clear of malware, and hasn't had any phlegm at all.

But something just isn't right. I mean sure, she runs faster now, but she just feels...different. Fonts are a little off, files aren't where they're supposed to be, and Alreadycent-dx no longer gives me a hug when I walk up to my desk.

But I have to look at the bright side -- at least Alreadycent-dx is still here. Even if she doesn't remember who I am anymore.

empty limerick

I want to post something today
But sadly there's nothing to say
Perhaps if I rhyme
And do it in time
Then everything will be okay

blue at the pier

voices carry

Did Angelina Jolie need to be in Kung Fu Panda? Her character, Tigress, couldn't have had more than 25 lines of dialogue in the entire movie (Jackie Chan probably had less than 10). So was it really necessary to have a major A-list actor play the part? Her performance was fine, but shockingly, I don't think the flick would've fallen apart without her.

You see it with most of the major animated movies now -- all these big movie star names above the titles. But what's the point? The main target audience for these movies is, obviously, kids. And kids will want to see a movie whether or not some name actor is in it. Basically, I just don't see this conversation happening:

mom: What movie would you like to see?
child: I dunno...
mom: How about "Horton Hears a Who?" You know, Steve Carell is in it.
child: Steve Carell? Wowie! Let's go!

Much of this is done to market an animated movie to adults, to make them want to see it too. But does it actually work? Will mom and dad go out of their way to see a kiddie flick like Ant Bully just because Julia Roberts is in it? Somehow, I find this doubtful.

The only exception would be when a movie star uses his/her skills to creative an interesting or unusual performance -- like Mike Myers in Shrek or Robin Williams in Aladdin (yeah, I know I'm reaching for that one). But most of the time the A-listers just sound like, well, themselves. And a real voiceover actor misses out, when he or she could likely have done something more creative with the part.

child: Daddy! Daddy! I wanna see Madagascar 2!
dad: Oh yeah? You want to see it because of all those funny animals?
child: No, I wanna see it because David Schwimmer is in it!

Ok, so maybe the trend extends past the A-list.

too many sorrys

Sometimes when I walk down a hallway and turn a corner, I'll nearly crash into someone who was coming from the other direction. Most of the time, the other person will say "sorry" before continuing along their way. But why? What's the purpose of the apology? They didn't do anything wrong.

Yet, there they are saying "sorry." By their logic, should I be apologizing too since we had equal roles in the near collision? Well, it's not going to happen. I will not say I'm sorry for making a turn unless I literally did crash into them. Or accidentally spilled hot coffee all over their open-toed shoes or something.

Instead of "sorry," I choose to say "excuse me," "pardon me," or -- if I'm in more of an international mood -- "perdonamente." It just seems more appropriate.

A few minutes ago, a co-worker and I nearly collided while we each turned the same corner. At the exact same time, we both said "perdon." It was awesome.